I am screwed

Assalamualaikum and peace yalls.

So this is the second part to my Studying in Birmingham, you can view Part 1 as well before you read this one.

Apart from USM, I also apply for Universiti Kebangsaan Malaysia for TESL and Science Physics but I had not been given any chances for the UKM interview and I started to be a little bit worried. No way I will not going to get my studies furthered (sad face). This paranoid little girl really was paranoid. I got an offer from UniKL as well and I had to pay RM250 as the confirmation fee. And I was like, that is it, I am going to go to UniKL, gonna do my Chemical Engineering because I was likely going nowhere. Even UKM don't want me. I told my mom that I was too worried and my heart was pounding every second back then. That led me asked my dad for RM250 and pay for the UniKL fee (my dad still want that RM250 back).

Days past and no news from anything (kinda forgot about the overseas thingy dah) and I kinda lose hope and am I really going to be an engineer? I asked Allah to always ease my path and give me the ultimate best, never felt more connected to Him than when I really need to get out from any trouble. Sigh~ human being (me) is lame. I don't want to be an engineer, not in a million years. I will rather teach physics hahaha that teacher blood flowing in mehh.

Actually everything that happened before this line were prior to my final results. So the result day came and there were no one home at that time for me to share my happiness so I had to jump all by myself, congratulated myself. Then my mom came home from school and we went to pizza hut to celebrate (no Domino's in Kelantan back then *sad face*). I was so happy and asked my dad for a new phone. A new pink limited edition Samsung Galaxy S2 had been a buzz in the town so I wanted that one for me. 

Few days after that, the post guy came to my home on Friday afternoon. That was very rare, people. People don't work on Fridays in Kelantan. We only work from Sunday to Thursday. And finally Alhamdulillah I got the letter calling for an interview  that was held in Penang. Few days after receiving the letter, I went for the interview and it was so fun but terrifying at the same time. The panelists were all women and you know how strict women can be. 

"Name 3 courses that you want to do."
1- Mathematics
2- Physics
3 - Computer Science

"Are you going to be fine when posted to Labuan?"
"*I need to get married before hand, then* Wow, that will be great. More flying hours for me, then hahaha (it was a joke, they laughed don't worry). Where ever it is, the thing I got to do is of course teach and teaching is not determined to where someone has to teach or to what someone has to teach but to how someone has to teach. So where ever it is, for me it is the same, minus the family but my family is in Kelantan so same story anywhere."

"What are the courses that you picked for your UPU?"
"They are all teaching courses, mainly TESL."

"How will you prepare yourself before going to the UK?"
"There are of course a lot to prepare considering UK is a not well acquainted place for me. In terms of physical preparation, exercise is always the best answer. I need to stay fit and away from sickness considering that I will be so far away from my family. Mentally and spiritually, I need to keep myself positive and motivated and to mind my relationship with God. UK is not an Islamic country so I don't want to lose my religious norms by being in the UK, so got to have that prepared."

"Okay, thank you. We wish you the best of luck."
"Thank you."

I went storming to search for my parents and told them that I had screwed the interview big time. It was because of my handbag, duhh why did I carry it in the first place? When I sat down for the interview, I put my bag down on the floor and after the interview, I-FORGOT-TO-PICK-THE-BAG-UP and one of the panelists said, "You know this shouldn't happen, don't you?" I said my sorry and almost cried but big girl don't cry. My dad eased my paranoia a bit by saying, "Don't worry abah got cable one in UPSI." As not helping as it might sound, I can't help but laugh. So, we went home straight after the interview and I was so tired but I helplessly pray to Allah to ease my path. Ameen

See you soon!